Ides of March.....beware

soooooooooo

Its the Ides of March, and you know what they say....beware!!  Truly beware of those around you, you never know when things might go sour and those around you my back stab you, literally and as they say....shit hits the fan!  I know I've been stabbed and TBT, truth be told, I've stabbed! ha! basically killed!  So bitches beware! lol  But yes, just beware.  Now at 30 I've decided to truly take a look back and analyze what worked and what didn't.  It boils down to drama.  Unwanted, ridiculous drama!  GET OUT OF MY LIFE!  So I'm hoping I stick my guns and avoid it, and not be part of it. Love all those around and hopefully they will love me back for me! All the quirks and hesitations, I need to let go and simply enjoy. 

Since moving here, I have indeed changed my ways! I am learning to grow all over again, on my own. Much like when I first moved to Austin as a very naive 18 year old.  Here, I feel the same.  Alone and naive to a lot of the wants that I really want to be, and be part of.  I have began doing self reflections whether it pertains to work, my life in general, and ultimately my sexual being.  So far, all areas have have been analyzed and I continue to search and explore.  I want to grow. I want to learn. I want to officially belong.  Slowly I see myself becoming a bit more of what I think I can ultimately achieve and be.  With that, I have met people and have began expanding my social circle.  Work is going great and I am learning to trust and be more involved with my peers, older peers at that.  I have naturally, or so it seems, been more flexible. I figure...'hell I'm new here and no one scares me!' It is true!  I am letting go of my quirks....my hesitations! I am simply just going for it!  I can no longer be censoring myself and worry about the 'ifs'!  It is now either I do it or I don't! It's either they like it or what can be worse....they don't! Big whoop!  Simply dust myself and try again! 

So, yes! I am putting myself out there in all senses, trying to fully find what can be achieved!  I have fallen from grace and have even achieved glorious moments in life.  All empty, as I now know!  I am searching for my happier days but now as a 30 year old.  It is not how you fall, but how you pick yourself up! and I have picked myself up and taking Chicago the best that I can.  Happiness can come in many packages.  I am still opening several packages and still have not found my favorite!  This year, I WILL! 

Beware....the Ides of March are upon you!